I couldn’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve stood in front of the mirror and hated what I saw.
From the time I was a little girl until now in my 20's there has not been one day that I’ve looked at my body and said, “Wow, I’m really satisfied with what I see.” That being said, while I struggled being an overweight child, I don’t consider myself to be overweight now. Yes, maybe I could use to lose the few pounds that I’ve gained from the typical beer and pizza college diet, but that’s about it.
As the usage of social media has exploded, I’ve realized that the scenario described above isn’t applicable to only myself, but also to women around the world, of all ages, and of all sizes. But why? What makes a thigh gap more beautiful than touching thighs or vice-versa? Who decides that size 0 is the ideal? Or that curvy women are sexier? Or that blondes are this, red-heads are that and brunettes are the other? We live in an era where society has shaped and inculcated in us what we like, who we like and why we like it, but unfortunately it hasn’t stressed nearly enough that the first that we should like – no, love – is ourselves.
For young women, like myself, here are the shocking facts:
· 91% of women surveyed on a college campus had attempted to control their weight through dieting 22% dieted “often” or “always.”
· 86% report onset of eating disorder by age 20; 43% report onset between ages of 16 and 20.
· 95% of those who have eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25.
· In a survey of 185 female students on a college campus, 58% felt pressure to be a certain weight, and of the 83% that dieted for weight loss, 44% were of normal weight.
And these are just a few among many.
The thing is, society may be the one instilling these standards, but it is us who force each other to live by them. I know that I am personally guilty of looking at a woman walking down the street and comparing myself to her, or thinking I would never want to look like that/I wish I looked like that. I know that us women judge each other more harshly than men do. I know that I’ve sat down with my friends before, looked at another woman’s social media profiles and commented on her weight fluctuation, or any other physical characteristic. If you’ve never been in that position, I applaud you. If you have (I’m looking at you gossip magazines), I encourage you to think twice. I’m choosing to come clean with myself about this unacceptable behavior because this is where I want to say enough.
As women living in an oppressed society (yes, oppression towards women is still a thing in the 21st century), we need to stand up for each other. Every day we are pressured to look and feel a certain way. Every day we are held to an unrealistic standard of beauty, and for many of us, every day that we cannot achieve it is another day that we have lost. But these are not the battles that matter. We need to empower each other to fight for what truly is important. We cannot let our exterior define us, and we cannot define others by the same. It is not a flat stomach or long hair that makes us beautiful; it is our minds, our good intentions and our love and acceptance for others.
After reading this, I encourage you to stand up to the social barrier of superficiality; to put what you see aside, and to focus on what’s inside of not only others, but also yourself. Stop the body shaming. I encourage you to look at yourself in the mirror, and comment on one physical and one spiritual thing that you like the most. I encourage you to compliment others, to bring out the good in them, to smile at them. But most importantly, I encourage you to remember every single day how lucky we are to be alive, to be literate, to have the capacity to access technology, to have access to education and to be able to challenge our minds – those kinds of things are what will enrich us and help us add value to the world. Whether you’re a size 2 or a size 22 does not matter. What matters the most is that we let our hearts and our minds shape who we are, and most importantly that we learn to love ourselves.